Hi, I'm Harris, but my friends call me Harry. I'm going to tell you guys a story. This is a story about a girl who didn’t want me. But don’t worry, it's actually a very funny story. Truth is, it isn't even mine. This is a story of a girl named Rilee Kate. And it starts with a dating app called Hinge.  


I know, I know, you’d be surprised at how many people can actually find their one true love on these silly apps.. If it wasn't for the premium subscription, I’d still be swiping years later in my welfare apartment. And before you ask, I did have a washer and dryer. It just happened to be in the kitchen. 


Anyways, I met this girl. Things are going well. I'm always calling her, she's always calling me. So I ask her if we can finally hangout. She tells me yes and then bails on me at the last minute for work. She in fact did not have to work. 


Later on she decided to pull the “it’s not you it’s me card.” SO two weeks go by and im crying in my bachelor pad.  And one day she decided she wants to hang out with me again. Okay, first of all, I'm on my way. Second, I think you’re the problem because you said you didn’t want to talk to me any more.


Anyways, I digress. There comes a time where we are always hanging out together. Like one day my welfare apartment lost power for a week and I stayed at Rilee’s place until I got power back. The truth is, I got power back on day 3, I just didn’t want to leave. Her place was way nicer than mine and life was so much better with her and Winnie in it.  I mean, have you seen the selection on Hinge? The further north you go, these women have summer teeth. Some are here, some are there. 


I get some flowers and I ask Rilee if she wants to be my girlfriend. She tells me no. So I'm headed out the door with my $16.99 flowers from Hannaford’s and she says, “ leave the flowers.” Oh yeah sure, I’ll get right on that. She then asks me where I’m going. Home. So, I can reflect on the rejection. Turns out she wants me to stay the night but doesn’t want any labels. To anyone still reading this, I am just as confused as you are. 


 So anyways I stayed and ended up cooking her dinner. A week goes by and you know what this girl says to me one night, while we are fully clothed in bed because i'm scared of her now… she goes “I just love being your girlfriend.” I said “huh?”  Oh it gets better, she then says the following week, “ I just love you.” Either i'm crazy or she's the issue here. 


So let's fast forward to when we decided we wanted to get married. Fun fact, it didn’t take long until I knew Rilee Kate was the one. I’d say about 8 months in, we went ring shopping. 


I didn’t buy the ring but Rilee kept asking me about the proposal for months.


So I asked some of Rilee’s closest people to help me with the proposal one day. And we all know how that went. Yeah it was a disaster trying to plan this. I mean, I left out key details and didn’t include anyone in a group chat until everyone was sending me angry messages. 


 Rilee went out for a few hours with Kendra and then her sisters and I met by the waterfront in Portland to set up. We found this beautiful secluded spot by the water. I mean there was a homeless guy living in the bushes but it actually worked out. 


Rilee was eventually brought down to the waterfront and was very shocked. I mean I knew she was happy when she was crying and gagging while I was trying to ask her the most important question of her life!


Well, you could imagine what happened next. I popped the question. She cried, I cried, the homeless guy cried. The anger and resentment towards one another magically disappeared between Rilee’s sister, her friend and I.  Oh and the party lasted an entire week!


 Dreams came true all over the place. Rilee went on to be engaged.  Teagan went on to adding me back into the family group chat. And Bridie, well she told me not to fu*k it up. And I don't really know what ever happened to that homeless guy who watched us get engaged. I hope he’s doing okay. 


Thanks to Rilee’s closest friends and family, we put together a pretty wonderful engagement party. Food disappeared quickly. Mainly from Tommy and I. And at last, Rilee was engaged. She was a princess worth waiting for. But above all, she trusted me to plan something where she couldn't be in control of.


And as for me, well. I started going back to the gym again. Stopped eating bad, and basically turned it all around. But I know what the big question is; did Rilee and I ever get married? Well I'm pleased to tell you. After months, and months of asking, and asking. I finally said yes. Alright, I asked her. (Watch the ending to Tangled and you’ll understand)!


Anyways, thanks for reading this far and we’ll see you August 1st 2026!